Season #2 - Episode #03 – How To Change Anybody By David J. Lieberman PhD.

Hello, Self Developers and welcome to The Patrick Kelly Podcast for Self-Development, where I will be reviewing  audible books on Self-Development that can change your life for the better this year, and years to come. It is said that if we keep on doing what we always did, we will keep on getting what we always got. In other words, to change our output, we first have to change our input.

Today is January 16, 2022, and This is Episode 3 of Season 2, and today we will be reviewing the audible book “How To Change Anybody: Proven Techniques To Reshape Anyone’s Attitude, Behavior, Feelings or Beliefs By David J. Lieberman PhD.. This audible book teaches you how to reshape any person’s behavior, attitude, feelings and beliefs for the benefit of themselves. Warning please do not use the following techniques to manipulate a person to do what would not be in their best interest. Please do not use these techniques to hurt people, only to help people do what would be in their best interest. If you feel that you may have psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies, please wait for next weeks podcast. The psychological strategies presented in this audio book, allow you to navigate a way through a person’s emotional blocks to create lasting change in almost any area. They will allow you to make anyone, a better person.

How To Change Anyone’s Beliefs and Values: It is easier to believe in something if there is nothing at stake. It is easy to have values when you don’t have a conflict. When you create a conflict between what a person believes and what they want, you will throw a monkey wrench into his/her thinking.

Technique #1: The Power Of Emotions: emotion creates motion. Emotions and not statistics or data or cold hard facts, are the energy that fuels our thinking and choices in life. 90% of decisions are fueled by emotions and then justified with logic. When you reach a person’s emotions, you can then reach the real decision maker within. If you are a salesman, analogies and stories will invoke an emotional response in order to entice, a person to purchase your product or service.

Technique #2: A First Hand Account: This technique uses social proof and cognitive dissidence in order to work. Social proof is a powerful tool of influence that says when we see others, particularly those we respect and admire do something, we are driven to adapt similar attitudes and behaviors. Which is why advertisers use Celebrities in their Ads. If this person who I like and I look up to uses this product, then I should too. So if your younger child does not want to eat their vegetables, tell the child if you want to grow up big and strong like your brother (that the younger child admires), you will need to eat the same vegetables that your older brother did, in order to grow up big and strong.  

Technique #3: Acts Of Kindness: If you are having trouble getting someone to like or trust you, have an act of kindness in order to win them over. It is difficult for a person to dislike another person, when the person who they do not like, is always displaying acts of kindness towards them.

Technique #4: Houston We Have Contact: Contact between two groups of equal status in pursuit of common goals, can decrease prejudices. Try to get a person who maybe prejudice to another person to be part of an activity like a sport or community project, with the very person who he/she holds a prejudice. Without pitting one person against another. Once one person relies on another person to complete a task, the liking of the other person will increase. Cooperation between two people are important in order to achieve success.

Technique #5: Motivate Anybody To Lose Weight: Convincing someone to lose weight, is not a matter of convincing them to do so, but rather of making it easier emotionally, for him or her to do so.

Solution #1: Please Help Me:

You can help someone lose weight by having him or her do things for you. If you ask a person not to buy sweets because you don’t want to have them in the house, or you want the person to join a gym with you because they can help you work out, you will get the person to change their habits without agreeing to do so.  A person will be willing to do something for someone else, rather than for him/herself.

Technique #6: Strike While The Iron Is Hot: Anything that is put off until Monday will probably be put off again. Inspiration comes with a built-in window of opportunity. When ever people are motivated to change, help them to do so. By not delaying action, you engage cognitive dissonance. Which means the unconscious mind adopts the belief, that what they are doing is important to them. Once you take immediate action, something becomes more important. This is also known as having a sense of urgency.

Technique #7: Part Of A Pattern: Behavioral change is easiest to make, when the new behavior is incorporated within the context of a routine or pattern. In other words, if want a child to do their homework, sandwich in a behavior between things that the child really likes. When the child comes home from school, he/she will first have a snack, then does the homework, and then plays outside. The order should always be the same and the time as consistent as possible.

Technique #8: How To Change Anyone’s Emotional State For The Better:

Solution #1: A long time Investment: When we live only for today, we are telling our subconscious mind that I don’t care what happens tomorrow. This kind of thinking can harm us emotionally. When you tell yourself I like me enough, to put time and energy into who I am, you are taking time to establish self-worth.

Solution #2: Pure Joy: Depressed people need to feel alive. Joy which is the anticipation of something pleasurable, is different from happiness. People who are in a poor mood, may have difficulty enjoying themselves. When given something to look forward to, depressed people can plan and lose themselves in their thoughts about this wonderful future event. When we are excited about something, we come out of our shell and connect more to life and thus want more to be part of the world.

Technique #9: Give the gift of self-esteem; get anyone to like themselves more: Self respect is the gateway to self-esteem. We like ourselves when we respect ourselves. How do we gain self-respect?  We gain self-respect, when we do what is right, over what is easy, or over that which only makes us look good. When we don’t act this way, we literally like ourselves less. Within all of us, 3 intercourses are at odds with each other. The Body, the Ego and the higher Soul. The Body wants to escape from life through sleep, entertainment and endless distraction. The Ego craves attention and control. The higher Soul wants to do what is right. Doing what is easy or comfortable is a body drive such as overeating or oversleeping, in effect doing or not doing something because of how it feels. An Ego drive can make us buy a car that we can’t afford so that we can be all flash, but no cash. When we let the Ego take control, we are not in control of ourselves. When we make a choice to do what is right, we feel good about ourselves. Only when we are able to choose responsibly, and do so, do we gain self-respect and in return, we gain self-esteem.

Technique #10: Change Anyone’s Mind And Change Stubborn Behavior Anytime:

1. The Crowbar: Taking a person to a No to a maybe. You want your friend Marcus to hear you out on a new idea and he is totally resistant to listening to you. Tell Marcus that he can think about, listen to or read more information about the idea, only if you can perform a truly difficult or amazing task. For example, you tell Marcus to write down on a piece of paper a number from 1 to 100. If You can guess what it is, then he will agree to what you want. Why because Marcus believes that there is little chance for you to guess the number. In getting Marcus to agree, you have shifted his belief system.  
2. Saving Face: A person needs to deflect a direct hit to their Ego and justify to himself and possibly others, his belief up until now. He needs to ask himself why I believed something for so long that was untrue.
3. Quantify: To change a person’s thinking, you first need to get him to define exactly, what he means. This technique is used a lot by trial attorneys.

Plaintiff –“I was a hard worker”

Attorney –“what do you mean by hard worker?”.

Plaintiff – “I worked hard at night and on weekends”

Attorney – “every night and every weekend?”

Plaintiff – “well no, most”

Attorney – “how many nights a week?”

Plaintiff – “3 or 4”. Attorney – “consistently or were there some weeks where you didn’t work late?”.

Plaintiff – “well, around the holidays I was off early”.

Attorney – “so you not only didn’t work late, but you took off early”, “and isn’t it true that you took off 5 sick days?”

If the Attorney did not quantify what the Plaintiff meant by hard worker, he would not be able to poke holes in his statement. You can only take something apart that has parts. Once you can quantify it, then you can pick it apart.  

Closing Thoughts: On scale of 1 to 5, I would give this audible book, a solid 5, for having multiple techniques on how to change anybody for the betterment of themselves. 

 *To find out more about this audible book, Go To: www.audible.com and download this audible book, or go to www.drdavidlieberman.com to find out more information about the Author.

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