Episode #47 - Law Of Connection; The Science Of Using NLP To Create Ideal Personal And Professional Relationships by Michael J. Losier

Hello, Self Developers and welcome to The Patrick Kelly Podcast for Self-Development, where I will be reviewing  audible books on Self-Development that can change your life for the better this year, and years to come. It is said that if we keep on doing what we always did, we will keep on getting what we always got. In other words, to change our output, we first have to change our input. 

Today is December 05, 2021, and This is Episode 47, and today, we will be reviewing the Audible Book, “Law Of Connection; The Science Of Using NLP To Create Ideal Personal And Professional Relationships” By Michael J. Losier. This audible book will teach you how to establish great relationships with others by knowing, understanding and communicating their visual, auditory, kinesthetic and digital way of learning.

Chapter 1: The 3 Conditions For Connecting: The 3 conditions for connecting with others are: 1. Rapport 2. Calibrating 3. Communication Style. Rapport – Rapport can be built in seconds and sometimes years. How long to nurture rapport? Forever. How long to break it? Only seconds. How long to repair it, sometimes never. Rapport comes from the word “Rappaport”. The meaning of rapport is a relationship, agreement or harmony. Rapport is a key part of communication. Communication can happen on two levels. Verbal and non-verbal. People can break rapport with a person by not picking up on verbal and non-verbal cues, by not understanding a person’s communication style, and through miscommunication. The law of connection will give you all the tools to achieve and not break rapport. Calibrating – calibrating is the art of paying attention and responding to what you have noticed. In order to calibrate with someone, you must learn to match their communication and learning style. By calibrating, you build rapport. In order to truly build rapport you must know and understand, the 4 communication styles. The 4 communication styles that you must know and understand are: visual, auditory, kinesthetic and digital.

Chapter 2: The NLP Communication Style Self-Assessment: In order to understand the communication styles and learning styles of other people, you must first know and understand your own communication style and learning style. Included with the Author’s audible book is a pdf self-assessment test, where you can find out whether you are visual, auditory, kinesthetic or digital.

Chapter 3: The 4 Communication Styles:

Communication Style #1: Visual - Visual people see things as pictures. They memorize by putting visual pictures in their mind. They get bored easily when they have no plans. They value time by liking things to start and stop punctually. They prefer to get the big picture rather than the details. These are the words of a visual person. Focus, imagine, look, see, picture, show, visualize, illustrate, clear or clearly, clarify, bright, appear, dull or hazy, view or scan, and enlighten.

Here are the ways a visual person communicates to other people: “I see what you mean”. “Show me”. “Looks good”. “Don’t keep me in the dark”. “That’s fuzzy to me”. “Could you clarify that again?” Visual people will greet and say goodbye to other people by saying: ‘It is good to see you”, “you are looking good”, “I have been looking forward to meeting with you”, Visual people will say goodbye by using these words: “see you later”, I will keep an eye out for you”, “see you around”, “see you soon”. If you find a person using these words a lot, most likely they are a visual person. If you use these words on a visual person, you will build instant rapport with them.

Communication Style #2: Auditory – Auditory people operate on sound. They remember what they hear. They learn by listening and often do not take notes. They like to make ooohh and ahh sounds when learning something new. These are the words of an auditory person: Resonate, harmony, repeat, tune in, tune out, buzz, whisper, hear or heard, sound, ringing, listen, noisy, say, babble, clicking, quiet.

Here are the ways a auditory person communicates to other people: Tell me more, I hear you loud and clear, that sounds good to me, I hear you, that resonates with me, that rings a bell, it was music to my ears, it was all double talk, squeals like a pig, that clicks for me.

Auditory people will greet and say goodbye to other people by saying: I am glad you called to chat, Good to hear your voice, nice to hear from you, so good to talk with you, I called to tell you, I’ll talk to you later, chat with you later, I will keep an ear out for you. If you find a person using these words a lot, most likely they are an auditory person. If you use these words on an auditory person, you will build instant rapport with them.

Communication Style #3: Kinesthetic – Kinesthetic people are hands on people. They speak slowly. They learn through touch and by doing. They need to feel there way through new information.

These are the words of a Kinesthetic person: Feel, firm, felt, found, together, relationship, touch, connect, press, catch, hard, complete, fund, stuff, play, stumble, fit, strike, comfortable, grasp, handle.

Here are the ways a kinesthetic person communicates to other people: Lets touch upon this, get comfortable with, walk me through this, it just rubs me the wrong way, I get the point, it feels right to me, I am getting a grasp on this, I got a handle on that now, this is a fit for me, that sits well with me, how do you feel today? You feel me.

Kinesthetic people will greet and say goodbye to other people by saying: Lets catch up, feels good to connect with you, lets keep in touch, Is 6 p.m. a good fit for you? Let us strike while the iron is hot, Take care, hugs, nice to touch base with you, let’s get together soon, stay in touch. Questions to ask a person that you know is kinesthetic: how does this feel? Is this a good fit for you? What would make this more comfortable for you? Can you relate to this? Do you feel complete with this? Does this work for you? If you use these words on a kinesthetic person, you will build instant rapport with them.

Communication Style #4: Digital – Digital people are people who memorize steps and sequences. They are detail oriented and technical thinkers. These are the words of a Digital person: Perceive, consider, detail, know, describe, figure out, process, logical, conceive, change, sequence, first or last, think, thought, rational, decide, understand.

Common phrases used by Digital people: Without a doubt, word for word, describe in detail, figure it out, make sense of it, pay attention to, I know what you mean.

Digital people will greet and say goodbye to other people by saying: Hello, Yes this is John, bye, bye for now. Questions to ask a Digital person: What do you think this means? Do you understand? Is this making sense? Can you make sense of this? What do you think? What are your thoughts on this? Can you describe this in detail?

Surprise Quiz: I will now give you 4 conversations and you will answer correctly, whether the person speaking is A. Visual B. Auditory C. Kinesthetic or D. Digital.

Here is Susan: Hi Jim – Good to touch base with you again. I am trying to wrap my mind over what you told me yesterday. I feel like I am missing something, could you go over it again step by step what you were trying to convey to me while we were on the phone? If you guessed that Susan is C. Kinesthetic, you are correct. The words Susan used to tell us that She is kinesthetic were touch, wrap, feel, step by step, and convey (which means to carry or bring). She said nothing about sound or visually seeing something.

Here is John: Hi Jim – Nice to hear from you again. What you told me yesterday was like music to my ears. Could you tell me more about the project you said you were working on? This sounds like a good opportunity. If you guessed that John is B. auditory, you are correct. The words Jim used to tell us that He is auditory were hear, told, music, ears, tell me, sounds.

Here is Patricia: Hi Jim – Could I come by your office and see you today? I wanted to get a better picture about business opportunity that you were telling me about. Maybe I can see some more illustrations and a presentation about the company and anything else that you can show me. I just wanted to view or scan over some more documents, before making a decision of joining your company. If you guessed that Patricia is A. visual, you are correct. The words that Patricia used to tell us that she is visual were see, picture, illustrations, presentation, show me, view, scan.

Here is Tania: Hello Jim – I am calling you to gather information on the business opportunity you told me about. If you can give me a history on the business along with some spreadsheets on the current valuation of your company, I might be interested in working with you, provided that I can have my lawyer look over the business contract. If you guessed that Tania is a D. Digital, you are correct. Tania said nothing visual, auditory or kinesthetic while talking to Jim. The words that Tania used to tell us that She was Digital was information, history, spreadsheets, valuation, contract (the details are in the contract). If you can master these 4 conversations, you will have no problem knowing a person’s learning and communication style, so you can build rapport with them. On your next conversation with someone, listen carefully to find out what their learning and communication style is, and respond to them using the proper words.

Closing Thoughts: On scale of 1 to 5, I would give this audible book, a super solid 5 out of 5, for teaching us how to understand and communicate the 4 communication styles, so we can build rapport with others.

*To find out more about this audible book, Go To: www.audible.com and download this audible book, or go to www.michaellosier.com to find out more information about the Author.

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