Episode #43 - Who Are You? What Do You Want? Four Questions That Will Change Your Life By Mick Ukleja & Robert Lorber

Hello, Self Developers and welcome to The Patrick Kelly Podcast for Self-Development, where I will be reviewing  audible books on Self-Development that can change your life for the better this year, and years to come. It is said that if we keep on doing what we always did, we will keep on getting what we always got. In other words, to change our output, we first have to change our input.

Today is November 07, 2021, and This is Episode 43, and today, we will be reviewing the Audible Book, “Who Are You? What Do You Want? Four Questions That Will Change Your Life” By Mick Ukleja & Robert Lorber. This audible book will help you answer the question “who am I and what do I want?”. Self-leadership comes first because effective leadership starts on the inside. Before you can hope to lead anyone else, you have to know yourself and what you need to be successful. Only when you have the experience of leading yourself, are you ready to lead others. The key to one-on-one leadership, is being able to have a trusting relationship, with others. If you don’t know who you are, or what your strengths and weaknesses are, and you are not willing to be vulnerable, you will never develop a trusting relationship. We are not human doings. We are human beings. Getting unstuck enables you to make the most out of Life, even when something happens to you.  

Chapter 1: Your Journey Begins with a Destination: If you don’t know where you are going, you might end up some place else. When you know who you are, what you want tends to show up. What you have is not who you are. If you know who you are, what you want tends to show up. You can land exactly where you want professionally and personally, by charting the course of your work and Life. The two can never be neatly and cleanly divided because each is an integral part of the other. In a journey to your destination, the weight of your cargo, is an important factor in taking off and landing. The truth about who you are and what you want, is your guide, making your journey to your destination, safe and enjoyable for you, and your crew. The more you know about yourself, the more you will learn from yourself and your experiences.

Chapter 2: Discovering Your Truth: All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered. The point is to discover them. Lying to yourself is counterproductive and at worse, destructive. Telling yourself the unvarnished truth is the most liberating action you can take. When you are honest with yourself, you make a clear connection between the problems you face, and the happiness and success you experience. Avoiding the truth is like using the wrong map. You will never reach your destination because you won’t know the reality, of where you are or where you’re headed. Leadership is the ability to influence others. Self-leadership then, consists of the thoughts, behaviors and strategies that help you exert influence, over yourself. You create the biggest barriers to your personal success and happiness, when you care more about what others think, than you care about what you think. Once you lead yourself, you begin to make a positive and lasting difference. If you don’t know what you want, when you don’t take ownership of your truth, you react to everyone else’s desires, schedules, invitations, request, and agendas, rather than going in the direction that is best for you, and doing what you need to do to make yourself happy, successful and healthy.  

Chapter 3: Who Are You and What Do You Want? If you don’t define success in your Life, others will define it for you. You may find yourself climbing a ladder and once you get to the top, you will find out that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall. You are more effective when you focus on and pursue the things, you’re skilled at. This is how your brain is wired. You can waste time, money and energy pursuing, unrealistic goals. It is much easier to work with the grain, than to work against it. If you do not schedule your time, others schedule your time for you. The secret of concentration is elimination. Successful people, declutter their lives. They get rid of the weeds that choke out their strengths and passions. Self-consciousness is what happens when you are too concerned, about what other people think about you. Self-awareness is to know yourself at the deepest level. Knowing yourself allows you to be in control of your Life. When you are thinking, think big. You can always act small later.

Chapter 4: Where Are You and Why Are You There? Plato said “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of Life is when Adults are afraid of the light”. It is easier to make decisions about your future once you know how your past and present connect to it. You make your decisions, and they then make you. Before you can move forward, you must first access where you are and then, examine the decision process, that brought you there. Making a poor choice or decision is not the problem as much as, not recognizing the connection between your current state, and the choices and decisions that led you to where you are. You don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there. You must learn how to stop and reflect. Conscious People take the time to reflect. There can be no insight without reflection. The word reflect in Latin means to refold. When you look in the mirror, the mirror refolds and reflects. Personal growth comes when you use your minds mirror. Taking the time to reflect on any circumstance or event in your Life, will bring you exciting new insights. Reflection is looking in so you can look out, with a broader bigger more accurate perspective.

Chapter 5: What Will You Do and How Will You Do It? Aristotle said “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act; excellence is a habit”. Mastering Life requires understanding what is happening to you know, and then creating and using a plan for going from where you are today, to where you want to be tomorrow. Some of the things that you will face in Life, will be problems and others will be predicaments. You must also know the difference between the two. A problem is a negative unexpected event, that can happen through no fault of your own. A predicament is the result of a behavior pattern, that keeps getting you into difficulties. A predicament is the result of habitual behavior, that has evolved into unconscious behavior. As time goes on it becomes more difficult to recognize it for what it is. Predicaments can be addressed and resolved, but until the underlying cause is identified, It becomes solvable by recognizing the issue for what it really is. The secret to change is one step at a time.

Chapter 6: Who Are Your Allies and How Can They Help? Two are better than one because they have a good return for their worth. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who has fallen and there is no one there to help him up. The whole will always be greater than the sum of its parts. Success is not a solo act. Surrounding yourself with good People and mutual supporters, is a sign of strength. Achieving the Life you want, often requires the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual support of your family, friends, work associates, Mentors and everyday acquaintances. Mutual support allows you to achieve far more than you ever could on your own. The key to having the support you want is trust. And trust, is a two-way street. In order to trust others, you must be trustworthy. When others trust you, they are always willing to be there for you too. Keep simple agreements, plus do no harm, equals trust. Keeping simple agreements means, doing what you said you were going to do. If you make a promise to someone and honor that agreement, you strengthen the bond of trust with that person. Trust is like a pure mountain stream with a fragile economical balance.

Chapter 7: Knowing Who You Are and Having What You Want: We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are. Ask yourself who are you and what do you want? Where are you and why are you there? What will you do and how will you do it? Who are your allies and how can they help? Do your answers suggest that you need to change? Only you can answer that. You have to embrace productive change. Change that allows you to get rid of excess baggage, and travel light. Change that differentiates you without isolating you. When you are clear on where you are going, you don’t overreact. You move past anxiety. Rather than being diffused by problems, your energy becomes focused like a laser. There is no problem that comes your way that is unsolvable.

Closing Thoughts: On scale of 1 to 5, I would give this audible book, a super duper 5, for providing the answers to who are you and what do you want.

*To find out more about this audible book, Go To: www.audible.com and download this audible book, or go to www.mickukleja.com to find out more information about the Author.

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